I wanted so much to die last night...
I thought about suicide. I mean really thought about it...last night and today in the shower...I thought how much everyone needs me..To do all their crap! We just got a new foster child. An adorable little boy..I can't leave him..I can't leave Nick either...I'm hopeless when it comes to him. I'll never be with him again..But I can't bring/get myself to like anyone else. I don't even know anyone else who could compare. His girlfriend is always dancing...she doesn't know what she is missing...That's not helping...ok. anyway...Barely ate anything today..2 pieces of cheese and some Mandarin oranges...Not bad to get back on track.
hun, i know i dont know you but it makes me sad to here this. you have potential. you can do great things in the world. there is hope. not eating is not going to make anything better. in fact it makes things worse. there is no point on hurting yourself. you are amazing. you are beautifully and wonderfully made. you are not a mistake. you are not a failure. you are not the things you have done or will do. please eat. please live. realize you dont need this guy.
ReplyDeleteah this makes me sad to write. i have been to the point of suicide and its devestating to even imagine someone going thru with this when i know that life can be beautiful.
please message me if you need anything. i know it sounds crazy but i'm tearing up over this. and if i can help i wuld love to.
hopefully we can chat.
Elyse
There is hope! You ARE strong, and you are BEAUTIFUL! Know that. In your core. You were only given this one life, one shot, and you have the so much potential. In fact, I have an idea. You should get out of town for a bit! How about Kenya. Spend 2 weeks loving and serving others, and you and your whole life will be changed. You have the power to go if you chose to.
ReplyDeletewww.bulaministries.org
Do it, I'll send you support money if you choose to go!
wow...Umm. I just now read these comments and I don't really know what to say...I'm just so confused...I know I shouldn't be not eating, but that doesn't seem to be able to stop me anymore...Everyone say's "there's hope" or "everything will get better" It's been so long! And getting worse...How can things be getting better when my world is falling apart?!?!
ReplyDelete